Welcome to the Worlde of a Fated Fey, one who walks the Shadows between the OtherSide and this Dreamland. This is the Book of Shadows of a hereditary and self-taught Magickal Woman; a Dreamer who possesseth the lineage of Fae, Wytch and Starr Blood. Interwoven together to make an ecclectic source of Magick and Chaos. To walk between the Worldes of the Starrs, the Hidden Realms, the Spirit Worlde and to also Live a human life...

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Remembrance }i{...

I never forgot my name, not once
Not ever
I may have over time forgot my brain
But the signs and symbol still remained
I never forgot this long ago dream
The remnants always stayed
What it is my head does ask
Is forever tied to my past
I never really forgot my heart
I tied it up and just never asked
Without the important question
Will my future affect my past
I know what it is it asks
I cannot stand this only inside my head
I now understand and although it hurts
I must still go on
Two worldes collided 
A long time ago
It came in my dreams
And showed in my wake
The lights were on the walls
And made my house shake
Nothing is the same anymore
Was it ever just my evermore
The answer I know
Is it twas never just me
I feel sick to the core
Of what my fate requires of me
What if I cannot fulfil these 
Duties and obligations
Why do I see these things
Meant for me
Why do I know
My heart, my head, my home
The dreams they once did go
Now they never do
Shadows stay and noises remain
Inklings and ideas and wordes
Rattle me to my core
Yet my Fate still it will stay
These thoughts that come to my head
They say that I can
But will I ever be sure
That I can open that certain door
To open the curtains
Of the Final Act
To never close them again
This is my true evermore.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Haunted by my Insides }i{

The past it doth come back to haunt
Beauty, Life and Love.. 
It slithers and taunts
And permeates this very being
Of nothings, and yet everything
How despicable are these shallow depths
That drowns my mynd within thy head
Assuaging my fragile dependancies
Making sure nothing is the same
Ever again
How strange this sight has come back
To me all over again
Evermore and shall I be sure
Of anything, once again
I say no, the past says yes
This path, although second guessed
Must surely be as blessed
Richter scale of brokenness
A realm and another worlde
My hands on fire
My eyes had bled
My soul left dead
And here I am, alive instead
This does not seem
Like it was a dream
This surely must cannot be real
The nothingness of everything
I always feel
Blinded by the light and broken by the dark
Tis the assumption of my heart
This I know is my truth
And how it always comes to be
My life is never just my own
This well-trodden path
Always ends up calling for me
Can I say, no? This I have tried
But my traitorous heart
Is quite horribly dark
And will not listen to me
So, as I step and as I sleep
All I do and all I seem
Is drawn to magicks
And magick by me
Never the same, although I do change
This path constantly set out before me
Tis not something to give into
Tis not something to abide
Tis a battle of the heart and mynd
What I have inside is my instead.

Monday, August 18, 2014

No Reason, No Rhyme, No Time }i{...

A step in time
No reason, no rhyme
Second guessed but forever blessed
The fated decline
Frustrated and petulant
Beyond all means
Gifted and by my very own choice
The answer is the lesson
It has no reason
It has no rhyme
My twisted and fated decline
What I know, I surely owe
That I do, why I shall maybe never know
Which I choose, shadows of blue
Vision impaired, I see in red
No longer alive, I feel I am dead
I can no longer stand my very own head.
Dreams come, remnants always remain
I see these faces, I hear these wordes
My dreams are better though
Whilst I am awake
Tis the sleepers choice to awaken
An inbetween realm
Of neither here nor theyr
A spidered web of the veils unbroken
But I have found amongst the weave
Of this tangled mess
All these woven lines, meet and connect. 
I have chosen, I have made my choice
I found a path to reconnect
Dreams and longings
The alive and the dead
Are all but one and the same
For tis our soul although it sleeps
It never, ever forgets
Here, I found my nevermore
Knock, knock, knocking at my Door.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Dragon ways, Dragon days.. Learning asiatic draco }i{

Pinyin system of language.
c is pronounced like the ts in tsetse fly.
q is pronounced like the ch in chin.
x is pronounced like the sh in sheen.
zh is pronounced like the j in jump.
e is pronounced like a dull er without the r being sounded, like the e in talent. eh
e before ng is pronounced like the u in rung.
o is pronounced like the aw in jaw.
ou is pronounced like the o in go.

tian xia; 'everything under heaven' the emperor of china ruled the world.

Third or fourth century a creation story developed. In this myth Pan Gu, the first being, was born from the egg of chaos (note monkey magic) as he grew he separated heaven and earth. From his body when he died came the sacred mountains and the waters. His eyes became the sun and moon, his hair and beard the stars, and the hair on his body the vegetable world. 

 Confucius; western name from jesuit missionaries circa seventeenth century. 
 Kong Qui, Kong Fuzi (Master Kong) sixth century, 551- 479 BC. Born in Qufu in Shandong Province. #Two different beings mashed into one.
A scholar that wandered about from court to court (ties in with tuatha da dannan ways) attempting to find employment and to convince rulers the right way to govern. He proposed they should employ scholars and institute the study of classics and scholar ways (akin to sophokles and aristotle).
'Analects' is Westerners call his teachings, reasons unknown.
Confucius taught Nothing was more important to man, than man. He took part on rituals and sacrifices as if the gods were present. Ritual and Music were the best influences on man's character. Ritual formed him and kept him in order; music united him to other men and brought him joy. (also ways of the tuatha da dannan, check similarities).
Confucianism naturally fits within ancient chinese ways of close family ties and absolute rule in which the father governed like an emperor and the emperor cared for his subjects like a father, while those below obeyed both. These virtues fit a static and ideally gentle world, where every family has its place beneath the ruler, every individual has his place within the family, and force and administration are  kept to a minimum. 
Five Confucian virtues:  
humanity or benevolence; ren (alike aegypt)
Righteousness; yi
Propriety; li
Wisdom; zhi
Trustworthiness; xin.
Five Confucian relationships: the only equal one that of friend to friend, the others are hierarchical. Between father and son; between ruler and ruled; between husband and wife; between elder brother and younger brother. They are the virtues and relationships of a society where all are kept in order by the closest to them and where there is little of police or state interactions. Nobility did not need to be under any laws; they could govern conduct according to propriety. 
Ru is the Chinese term for Confucian, originally 'weakling'. Gentleness, refinement and calmness of a scholarly life is admired, plus a certain scepticism about everything, excepting keeping the right relationships with other people.
Right relationships required 'filial submission' (xiao), 'loyalty' (zhong), and the complementary virtue to loyalty: 'decency' or 'reciprocity' (shu), the duty of the emperor to rule justly and to take note of the advice of his subjects. 
Outwardly order could only be a reflection of internal self-discipline, particularly those placed in authority. The ruler must be good or society would decay, while losing the support of the people and thus the Mandate of Heaven and his throne, if he neglected these five virtues. 
[The relationship of friend to friend, this creed can not be broken or betrayed excepting endangering the state. In order to achieve betrayal of a friend by a friend, leaders had to attack the historical figure who represented the opposite principle, and who stood for hierarchy, order and relationships otherwise unshakeable by any difference of mere belief. An affect still used today.]

Dao, meaning The Way of Nature. 
Man should understand himself as a part of nature and to see change as the way of everything in the universe.  Man, with his cycle of growth, decay and death, is no different from any one thing in nature, be it stick, animal or cloud. So he should not insist on human order and hierarchy or cling to any particular form, or even to the form of his very own body, which must dissolve. Only in this way can he gain life, either by enduring longer in the world or by attaining Physical Immortality.  For a Daoist, Immortality is not impossible. There are two parts of the soul, one heavenly the other, earthly. The heaven element tends upwards; breathing techniques and sexual exercises are intended to lighten the soul so that it will dissolve into the universe, where it will endure. Health of the body, the earthly element, is sought in simplicity, balanced diet and exercise (taijiquan; shadow boxing). 
Daoist poet, Tao Qian; from the collected works Drinking Wine.
I have built my hut beside a busy road
But I can hear no clatter from passing cars and horses.
Do you want to know how?
When the mind is detached, where you are is remote also.
Picking chrysanthemums by the east hedge
I can see the hills to the south a long way away:
It is sunset and the air over the mountains is beautiful;
Birds are flying in flocks back to their nests.
This tastes real.
I would like to talk about it, but there are no words.

wuwei; 'non-action'. Out of the depth of extreme tranquility comes activity. Nothing out of harmony with the flow of things, stillness creates movement. The code of the swordsman as much as that of a fisherman.
taijiquan; shadow boxing
The circling movements of sword exercises and taijiquan are modelled on observation of the fighting tactics of animals, particularly of birds and of panthers. Circling movements put man in tune with the movement of the stars and with the natural cycle of water as it rises in clouds and falls in rain. 
In Daoism battle was seen as the element of all life, against mortal enemies and also against immortals within and outside the body. Working with nature by dexterity and balance rather than by brute force, outwitting the enemy, winning by bluff without a battle, and 'the strategy of the empty city': a reference to the story of a general who deceived the enemy into thinking an undefended city contained a huge army by leaving its gates wide open and playing the lute idly on the city walls.

Daoism is associated with alchemy and magic, the core reason being attaining the elixir of life and immortality.  The transmutation of base matter into gold, gold being associated with immortality and eternal life, because of its durability and constancy under changing conditions. The word 'alchemy' derives vis Arabic from the Chinese word for gold, jin. (Djinn, genie)

Lao Zi, Dao Master; discover how nature acts by observing nature. Yin and Yang in the universe match each other. The combination of yin and yang is Life. A qigong breathing activity to enjoy long life without age if kept practising.. When you are full of energy, your 'cinnabar centre' (a nerve centre two inches below the navel) will produce heat. With your hand you can cure sickness. Those with very high perfection can bake pancakes on the abdomen by the heat produced from the cinnabar centre, or can boil water on a leg. We should absorb the natural essence of the universe, and store our own energy. So you cannot get married. The more energy you have, the more vigorous you will become, and gradually you will be able to renew your youth. The main purpose of a Daoist is to become an Immortal. 

Friday, August 1, 2014

What Lays Beneath and Inbetween }i{...

Here lies beneath 
With the shadows of a broken man
The last vestige of a modern compliance
For me, the road to endure I have found
Serenity and completeness instead
Morality mocked and bean-sidhe knocked
The eternal, life of the nocturnal
Be I alive, or be I dead?
I do not care, for I am whole
Once again.
By fingers and by thumbs
To this place I could never shun
A'dancing with swirls
A pattern had emerged
A doorway open
A worlde spent, left heaving and hoping
Fingers brisk, a chill sets in
How the skin burns from this feeling of cold
So very wonder full, so very olde
I do not want to let go
This time again, rest assured
Is why I walk through that door.
With faith in my hands and dirt on my feet
Worned out, tattered and tired I may be
Stretched and rung, this lonely song
Is what keeps me
With visions and might
To behold, tis such a beautyfull sight
It is so hard to leave, this empty ache
Closing the door gently behind me
I turn away, never a goodbye
My heart was left bloody, held in my hands.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The tale of two tails, Sekhmet and Apophis... }i{

"I want Apophis."
The kitty purred and licked her paws
Sekhmet calls 
This is a time she wants for more
"I want Apophis"
Her constant nightly battle
Sekhmet always wants for more
"I want Apophis"
Her appeasement although
Tis an injustice
This is a battle that she adores
Forever, chaos strains to capture the night
Ordained in the passage of universal flight
For only in chaos can we know order
Meaning in the mysterios
Truth in the legend
We find life within the mythos
Tis in this pain she finds constant delight
Her appeasement
An injustice
Binded and bounded
For another long night
Apophis and the Kitty
Sekhmet and her favoured tale
With each turn of the wheel
Of day that turns to night
A revolution that must always be won
The apokolypse, the revelation
With a flick of two tails
Apophis and Sekhmet
Neither friend nor foe
Tis the kitty, her joy and her bliss
Forever in the night she rules
After all,
It twas Sekhmet in the end
Who said 
"I want Apophis...
Tis the winning that is only half the fun." 
Thus, once more
Night can return to Day
The earth and the sun
Armageddon undone
Wormwood burned
Ashes to Dust
Returned and Reborn
Til the night has again begun
Another round, ritual returned
A kitty and her snake 
A tale of conquest
The conception of good and evil 
Unyielding temptations
Tasteful flavourings
Curiosities bested
Smouldered and sequestered
The love of the Battle
A moral to a story
Of two tails a rite untold
The ending is its very beginning
Intertwined enraptured enamoured 
A love already won
Is the lure of Apophis for the goddess